Bony Fingers

Many years ago now, my sisters and I were in my mom's car, listening to one of her favorite radio stations, when this rather wierd, country-style song came on. For the longest time, the only thing we remember about it was the chorus:

"Work your fingers to the bone, and what do you get? Bony fingers, bony fingers!"

Of course, now-a-days, one can do a "Google" search and voila! So I did just that. It seems that Hoyt Axton wrote and sang a song called "Boney Fingers" back in 1975. But I also found a paradoy song called "Boney Fingers" that was written and sung by Dave Thewlis and Anne Ashley also back in 1975. (Editor's note: "boney" is an acceptable alternate spelling of "bony". Though "bony" is the "more correct" spelling.)

I'm pretty sure the song we heard was Hoyt Axton's original, as I don't know if the parody was even played on the radio. It's amazing what one remembers thoughout the years; some just little snippets here and there, such as the chorus of an "unknown" song.

For sometime now, I have found myself "working my fingers to the bone" (as it were), which is what has prompted me to remember that old song fragment.

So far, though, my fingers are still rather 'sausage-like'.

Valentine's Day

February 14th. There are many observances related to this day, the most famous being “St. Valentine’s Day” (or simply “Valentine’s Day”) and the most infamous being the anniversary of the “Valentine’s Day Massacre (1929)”.

Other observances include “Admittance Day” for Oregon and Arizona (they officially became states on February 14: 1859 for Oregon, 1912 for Arizona), “Ferris Wheel Day”, “National Condom Day (US)” (no joke - you can’t make this stuff up), “Stop the Violence Day (US)”, “National Impotence Day (UK)”, “Congenital Heart Defect Day”, and “Love Sucks Day”. In Norway, it’s “Ballantine’s Day”. There are probably more, but these were some of what I found doing a casual Google search.

“Love Sucks Day” is the ‘flip-side’, if you will, of “Valentine’s Day”. “Valentine’s Day” is essentially a time for couples celebrate the fact that they are couples. “Love Sucks Day” is essentially a time where single, unattached people (those without “significant others”) commiserate the fact that they are single and unattached. Sort of similar to Norway’s “Ballantine’s Day”.

As for me, I’m more of the “Love Sucks Day” celebrant. “Love Sucks Day”, I think, is really a misnomer; more appropriately (I think) would be “Lack of Love Sucks Day”. But then, that doesn’t have the same ring to it. Besides, part of “Love Sucks Day” is making fun of all those nauseating things couples do for “Valentine’s Day”, as well as making fun of the greeting card companies, florists, chocolate factories, etc. (because everyone knows that “Valentine’s Day” is just a made-up ‘holiday’ promoted by these companies and industries to foist their wares upon us).

Not that I really believe that. But then again, as long as I don't have anyone to celebrate “Valentine’s Day” with, I might as well pretend to.

Groundhog Day

In honor of “Groundhog Day”, I thought about posting and then reposting the same entry several times (that’s a reference to the movie starring Andie MacDowell and Bill Murray, in case you didn’t catch it). But I decided against it.

In honor of “Groundhog Day”, I thought about posting and then reposting the same entry several times (that’s a reference to the movie starring Andie MacDowell and Bill Murray, in case you didn’t catch it). But I decided against it.

Ok, ok, so I slipped it in once. ;-)

Then I thought maybe I’d compose a poem or perhaps better yet, a haiku:

Today is the day
For the most well-known groundhog,
Puxatony Phil

He sticks his head out
To see if winter’s over
By looking ground-ward

If he should notice
His own shadow on the ground
Then six weeks remain.

Meh – not great, but not too bad. You try it.

Just remember now:
5-7-5 syllables
Is the haiku’s form.

Which is a haiku itself if you notice. ;-)