I Can See Clearly Now - Sort of

I have been wearing glasses for many years. If you wear them, you know what a pain they can be - at least, sometimes; ofr one thing, finding a pair of non-prescription sun glasses is very difficult, if you have large lenses (and by "large" I mean physical dimension wise, not "thickness" wise), which I always have (they fit my face better than small ones).

Well, I looked into getting LASIK surgery - I've know a few people who had it and it worked great for them. Some people would just "dive in" and find someone who will perform the procedure without necessarily doing any screening - not I good idea. Of course, I'm not that stupid (sorry, but that's the nicest word I can think of for people who do that), so I had a consultation with one of the leading LASER-eye speciallists in Portland, OR.

Unfortunately, the screening showed that I was not a good candidate for LASIK - I showed indications of having a condition known as keratoconus, which is (somewhat over-simplified) a condition where the cornea thins and sags. He sent his findings to my regular eye doctor. My regular eye doctor upon initial examination could not find anything, but upon trying to correct my vision by adjusting my lenses found that she could not. So, she looked deeper and basically confirmed the keratoconus (and as a side note, it seems my right eye is worse than my left eye, which apparently is not uncommon).

So for right now, the only treatment is hard contact lenses. I say "right now" because there are surgical options, such as a corneal transplant, but I think I'll hold off on that option (for now).

Today is day three of wearing my "trial" contacts (they are trial becuase it takes time to get them properly fitted - the odds that you get a 'perfect' fit right off the bat are astronomical). It's a bit weird - my eyes itch somewhat and when I move my head, it takes a moment for the lenses to re-center (laws of inertia, and all that), but overall, I think it's going to be OK.

At least I'll be able to find a decent pair of sunglasses again.

TLAPD '07

Avast, ye landlubbers! Know ye what day it be? Arrr! Aye! It be "International Talk Like a Pirate Day"!

Alas, me update t'will be short as me ship "The Frying Dutch-Pan" be drydocked and me crew be near mutiny as I make 'em scour her from stem to stern. Arrr! Would that me favorite serving wench "Diamond Girl" be here with a mug of (ginger) Ale fer me ta quaff!

So I says to meself, I says "Arrr! If'n only I's could remember where I burried me swag! That darn parrot o'mine, he went and ate the map! Arrr!"

So lift yer mugs and toast today, and remember to talk like a pirate. Beacuse Dead Men Tell No Tales!

Abandonment Issues

I think all of us, at one time or another, have felt abandoned by someone (family or friends); and whether the perceived abandonment is real or not doesn’t matter. As a friend of mine likes to say “Perception IS reality.” Meaning, what we (or others) perceive to be true is true to us – the fact that it may not actually BE true is irrelevant.

I have found myself lost in my own world of feeling abandoned lately. My heart has been broken for some time now – it is not something I care to discuss casually (meaning, I’m not going to talk about the details here – at least for now). Often I wonder if anyone has noticed the changes I see in myself (I’m not as happy as I used to be); if they do, they haven’t said anything – at least, not to me. Well, that’s not exactly true. A work buddy did seem to notice and asked me if something was wrong. At first I didn’t tell him - I hemmed and hawed and blamed it on being tired, but he let me know he was available to talk, if I wanted to. That was nice of him. Eventually I did mention it to him and he was supportive.

But there have been other things too. I’ve been trying to converse with an old friend via e-mail – we’ve not seen nor talked with each other in nearly 20 years. It’s not that we had a falling out or anything, we just lost touch (as many of us do – it’s just part of life). I finally found her e-mail address a while back and have sent a few e-mails, to which she has responded, but we’ve not really had a good conversation. It’s frustrating.

It seems that lately most of my e-mails to my various friends have gone unanswered. I know that we all get busy and we don’t always have time to reply to e-mails as soon as they come in – I’ve done the same thing myself. Still, when one feels lost, lonely, and just wanting SOMEONE to talk to, having zero responses to several e-mails, in several weeks, is hard.

So, for the last several weeks (months?), I’ve felt abandoned by my friends. Intellectually, I know that this is not the case. Still, knowing this doesn’t always help. Oh sure, my family is always there for me, and I can talk to them “whenever”, but when you want to talk to a specific someone, and they (for whatever reason) don’t talk to you, it sucks.

Still, there is at least one person who I know will ALWAYS be there for me and NEVER abandon me. He is my friend, my Savior, my Lord – Jesus Christ. And He will always be there for you too, if you let Him. But then, that’s the key – you have to let Him, for He will not force himself upon you.