Abandonment Issues

I think all of us, at one time or another, have felt abandoned by someone (family or friends); and whether the perceived abandonment is real or not doesn’t matter. As a friend of mine likes to say “Perception IS reality.” Meaning, what we (or others) perceive to be true is true to us – the fact that it may not actually BE true is irrelevant.

I have found myself lost in my own world of feeling abandoned lately. My heart has been broken for some time now – it is not something I care to discuss casually (meaning, I’m not going to talk about the details here – at least for now). Often I wonder if anyone has noticed the changes I see in myself (I’m not as happy as I used to be); if they do, they haven’t said anything – at least, not to me. Well, that’s not exactly true. A work buddy did seem to notice and asked me if something was wrong. At first I didn’t tell him - I hemmed and hawed and blamed it on being tired, but he let me know he was available to talk, if I wanted to. That was nice of him. Eventually I did mention it to him and he was supportive.

But there have been other things too. I’ve been trying to converse with an old friend via e-mail – we’ve not seen nor talked with each other in nearly 20 years. It’s not that we had a falling out or anything, we just lost touch (as many of us do – it’s just part of life). I finally found her e-mail address a while back and have sent a few e-mails, to which she has responded, but we’ve not really had a good conversation. It’s frustrating.

It seems that lately most of my e-mails to my various friends have gone unanswered. I know that we all get busy and we don’t always have time to reply to e-mails as soon as they come in – I’ve done the same thing myself. Still, when one feels lost, lonely, and just wanting SOMEONE to talk to, having zero responses to several e-mails, in several weeks, is hard.

So, for the last several weeks (months?), I’ve felt abandoned by my friends. Intellectually, I know that this is not the case. Still, knowing this doesn’t always help. Oh sure, my family is always there for me, and I can talk to them “whenever”, but when you want to talk to a specific someone, and they (for whatever reason) don’t talk to you, it sucks.

Still, there is at least one person who I know will ALWAYS be there for me and NEVER abandon me. He is my friend, my Savior, my Lord – Jesus Christ. And He will always be there for you too, if you let Him. But then, that’s the key – you have to let Him, for He will not force himself upon you.