Memorial Day '10

Today is Memorial Day. Now, I can hear some of you thinking, “No, Monday is Memorial Day.” You're wrong. Monday is the observance of Memorial Day, but it is not Memorial Day. Check the history of Memorial Day and you will see that it is officially on May 30th every year; we observe it on the closest Monday, because we like having 3-day weekends. It's the same with most of our National holidays - Veteran's Day is November 11th, Labor Day is September 4th; the only exceptions I can think of are Thanksgiving and Independence Day (and I don't expect that to change, especially 'the 4th of July).

But that's not my main topic for today's post.

If you have read my blog before, then you should know that I am a supporter of our military. Not the bureaucratic machine that sometimes rears its ugly head, but the people who serve. It is because of them that our nation is free.

At this point in history, we have a 100% voluntary military - there is no 'draft'. Yes, we have registration for a draft, but there is no draft. Those who are in the military are there because they have decided they want to be there. Yes, I know there might be a few cases where they are there because of a little used, but still active clause in the contract they signed, but they freely signed that contract in the first place. But that is another issue and not the point. My point is that the people who serve in our military have chosen to do so and they deserve our respect, support, and thanks.

Memorial Day, while used to celebrate the unofficial start of summer, is not about parades or BBQs or flowers or even time off from work: it's about remembering those who have fallen in service of this country. Don't get me wrong; have parades, flowers, BBQs, and enjoy the time off from work - these are all good things, but let us also remember those who gave their lives so that we can enjoy these other things. If you know or see a veteran or an active duty military person, say “Thank-you” - you'd be surprised how much that would mean to them.

Something I did not know (until I read it in a Yahoo news story) is that there is a "national moment of remembrance" that takes place at 3 PM local time on the observance of Memorial Day (i.e. on Monday) and lasts one minute. This was established as an act of national unity, and is not intended to replace or supplant other activities on the day. So tomorrow, as you are enjoying the day however and wherever you are, when 3 PM rolls around, try and remember to take a minute and reflect on those who have fallen.

And to those US Military personnel, both past and present, wherever and whoever you are, from the bottom of my heart I say to you: Thank-you, and God bless you all.

The "No Win" Scenario

There are those (like Capt. James T. Kirk, of the starship "Enterprise") who do not believe in the "no win" scenario. I, unfortunately, am not one. Because I think I'm in one right now.

I was asked a question at work. If I say "no", I will essentially be "pigeon-holed" and come across as not interested in doing certain other things (which is not entirely true). If I say "yes", I'll be 'forced' to agree to do whatever they end-up finding to "help" me "change" (which might actually be ok, IF I knew what it is they find, but that part is completely unknown, so I don't really want to 'blindly agree' to it). And I can't just "not answer".

So it's "no win" for me.

I wish I could say this was the first time I ran into a "no win" scenario at work, but it's not. Different issues but same results for me - "no win".

They say I'm valued, but sometimes I really wonder about that. I've been figuratively slapped in the face; stabbed in the back; had people who are supposed to work together take all the credit and give me all the blame; had people tell me they would support me, but then "fold" like a bad poker hand with little more than a slight breeze blows; been told to my face "I don't even know what it is you do around here."; been undermined...

Perhaps you wonder why I stay there - I sometimes wonder myself. But most of the people there are good people - there really is only one or two "bad eggs". Unfortunately, they have been given "power" and they never should have been.

I've fought, but you have to choose your battles. If you try and fight everything, you'll end-up doing nothing but fighting, and you cannot live that way. So one must let some things go, even though you know the decision made is the wrong one. You can only bang your head against the wall for so long before you ask yourself why you are banging you head against the wall.

Perhaps it is time I left. I thought it might have been a while ago, but had I done so then, I would have left some people I respect "in the lurch", and I couldn't do that to them. Ok, ok - technically I "could", but I wouldn't.

So here I am. Partly because, unlike some others, I am a team player; I do not care if I get the credit; I do not let my ego get in the way of getting things done (usually, at least. Perhaps on the rare occasion - after all, we all have 'bad days' don't we?); I do not need to be the one who has my face in front of everyone saying "Look at me! Aren't I great? Don't I do a good job?"; I do not believe "I" have clients - I believe "we" have clients; I couldn't care less if someone else talks to "my" clients; I don't run other people down in an effort to make myself look good (how petty) - at least, not on purpose (I mean, it's possible I may have, but I do not recall any specific instance when that is true); I back my people, I don't "throw them under the bus"...

Which is not to say I am perfect - I know that I am far from it. Nor am I trying to say that everyone should be me. No, that would not be good either. But I do try to treat people with courtesy and be cordial. And I got to tell you that is not always easy, especially when I have absolutely zero respect for them. But I still try - I may not always succeed, but I do try.

I don't know what to do. I hate these types of "no win" scenarios...

Proving a Point

I gave my friend Hcatty a hard time the other day because it's been a while since she'd posted anything to her blog. We do this on occasion (as you might be able to tell if you've read some of my past posts) - and while I can't speak for her as to why, I do it because I like reading the thoughts she cares to share from time-to-time, be they "good", "bad", or indifferent.

But her response to my good-natured ribbing was that if she did [update her blog], it would be depressing and she couldn't handle depressing right now. To which I told her it couldn't be any worse than my last post and that she controls her emotions, not the other way around.

Which is true (that we control our emotions) for every human being - most just don't realize it.

So what does that have to do with this post. Nothing really. Well, except that I feel like crap right now, but I am refusing to allow that to "make me" post something 'depressing'.

Hence the title of this post.

So take note, my dear friend Miss Hcatty. ;-)

I thought about mentioning why I feel like crap right now, but I have decided against it. Mainly for fear that if I did, this WOULD turn into a depressing post, which would fail to make my point.

But I digress...

Where was I? Oh yeah - not depressing.

I have amazing friends. I often wonder if any of them truly know just how amazing they are. I suspect they do not. They tell me that I'm amazing, but when I look at myself, I have to wonder just what it is that they see. So I suspect it is the same with them. I guess that's just one of the magical aspects of true friendship - they can see in us what we fail to see in ourselves. And I've got to tell you, it's nice to hear now and then, especially when we feel like crap. Sometimes, just the mere presence of a friend can turn your whole day around. In fact, I remember a specific day at work when all morning long I was, shall we say, in a snit; every little thing just seemed to piss me off even more (and quite frankly, there was no real reason for it). But then a friend of mine stopped by, pretty much just to say "hi", and I instantly went from being in a bad mood, to being in a good one. And it lasted the rest of the day. I don't think she even knew what it was that she did for me that day - and it she didn't really even "do" anything.

So Miss Hcatty, I may have said this before, but I'll say it again, because it deserves being repeated from time-to-time, especially when I know that you are going through "something" (though I do not know what - and that's ok - I'm not asking you to tell me. Though I do hope you know you can, if you want to): I am honored to call you "friend". And I am humbled that you have called me "friend". You are amazing - NEVER let ANYONE convince you otherwise. I know that you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. To paraphrase Winston Churchill, "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever give up. Never give up. Never give up. Ever." I know that God has something truly remarkable in store for you. Exactly what, I do not know - I wish that I did so I could tell you. But continue seeking Him and He will open all the right doors (while closing all of the wrong ones).

And continue being the amazing person you are. Keep your heart guarded, but open. Don't let "them" crush your spirit. Be the type of friend to others that you always wanted for youself (which I know that you are).

Now if only I could follow my own good advice...
{CRAP! It got a little depressing at the very end there...}