Love Sucks Day '08
Well, ok – it not exactly “love sucks day” yet; that won’t be until later this week (Thursday, to be exact). Still, since my home computer’s hard drive crashed a few weeks ago, and seeing as I’ve not yet re-built it, I’m not sure I would actually be publishing a post Thursday, so here we are. Then again, since I’m posting now, I won’t be posting on Thursday anyway, so either way – here we are.
I wish more people understood what I understand about love. Not that I’m claiming to be an expert, but I do know that there are many myths out there. I’ve decided to discuss what I consider to be the top 3 myths about love. So, in no particular order, here we go:
Myth #1: “That person is out of your league.”
This is something we tell ourselves when we are too afraid to take a chance. Of course, it’s also something we tell others when we think they are “uncouth” compared to their object of affection. The truth is – no one is out of anyone’s “league”. Does this mean there aren’t social barriers? No, of course not. But the concept of someone being “too beautiful” or “too smart” or “too whatever” is normally a limitation we put on ourselves (or others) to give us an excuse for not even trying (or an excuse for running the other person down). We’ve been so ingrained with the concept of “social status”, that we can’t breakthrough that purely arbitrary line drawn in the sand. But breakthroughs do occur, and because they do, that simply proves that nothing is impossible and that this statement is indeed a myth. But you must be willing to try and be willing to change your behavior, if necessary. Of course, even if you do, there is no guarantee that the object of your affection won’t simply reject you – but that’s life. Still, if you don’t try, you’ll never know, will you?
Myth #2: “That person is not my type.”
Ok, this is a half-myth. Yes, we all have, to one degree or another, preferences or “types”. But more often than not, what we think our “type” is really isn’t, and what we think is not our “type” really is. How many times have you heard someone say, “When I first met this person, I didn’t think we’d hit it off because they’re not even close to being my type – but I decided to give them a chance and now we’re inseparable.”? Or (perhaps more often) “Why do I always seem to fall for jerks?” If that second one sounds like you, consider this: you keep falling for jerks because you keep going after the same “type” of person and that “type” are jerks. Which brings me to my point – don’t discount someone, just because you don’t think they are your type. Perhaps you should give them a chance – who knows? You may surprise yourself and find that someone you’ve been looking for, but couldn’t find because they didn’t fit into your “type”.
Myth #3: “You cannot choose who you will love.”
This is probably the biggest myth of them all. Love is an emotion, and like any emotion, we are in control. I can choose to be sad; I can choose to be happy; I can choose to be miserable; I can choose to be ecstatic – my emotional state is up to me. Granted, there are times when we let ourselves go and allow our emotions to control us, but if we assert ourselves, we can always gain control over our emotions. The same is true with love. I, for one, do not believe in “love at first sight” – it does not exist. “Infatuation at first sight”? Yes. “Lust at first sight”? Yes. But love takes time. Most people confuse “infatuation” or “lust” with “love”. And when you hear someone say (regarding their significant other), “It was love at first sight.”, more likely it was really “infatuation at first sight” that turned into love, over time. I’m not saying it takes a long time, but it does take time. And the amount of time it takes can vary. But I believe in order to “love” someone, you must get to know them. Don’t think “I could never love this person.”, because you are wrong – if you wanted to, you could; but if you choose not to, then you won’t.
Make no mistake: love is a choice and you can certainly choose to withhold it or give it. For your sake, I hope you will choose to give it.
I wish more people understood what I understand about love. Not that I’m claiming to be an expert, but I do know that there are many myths out there. I’ve decided to discuss what I consider to be the top 3 myths about love. So, in no particular order, here we go:
Myth #1: “That person is out of your league.”
This is something we tell ourselves when we are too afraid to take a chance. Of course, it’s also something we tell others when we think they are “uncouth” compared to their object of affection. The truth is – no one is out of anyone’s “league”. Does this mean there aren’t social barriers? No, of course not. But the concept of someone being “too beautiful” or “too smart” or “too whatever” is normally a limitation we put on ourselves (or others) to give us an excuse for not even trying (or an excuse for running the other person down). We’ve been so ingrained with the concept of “social status”, that we can’t breakthrough that purely arbitrary line drawn in the sand. But breakthroughs do occur, and because they do, that simply proves that nothing is impossible and that this statement is indeed a myth. But you must be willing to try and be willing to change your behavior, if necessary. Of course, even if you do, there is no guarantee that the object of your affection won’t simply reject you – but that’s life. Still, if you don’t try, you’ll never know, will you?
Myth #2: “That person is not my type.”
Ok, this is a half-myth. Yes, we all have, to one degree or another, preferences or “types”. But more often than not, what we think our “type” is really isn’t, and what we think is not our “type” really is. How many times have you heard someone say, “When I first met this person, I didn’t think we’d hit it off because they’re not even close to being my type – but I decided to give them a chance and now we’re inseparable.”? Or (perhaps more often) “Why do I always seem to fall for jerks?” If that second one sounds like you, consider this: you keep falling for jerks because you keep going after the same “type” of person and that “type” are jerks. Which brings me to my point – don’t discount someone, just because you don’t think they are your type. Perhaps you should give them a chance – who knows? You may surprise yourself and find that someone you’ve been looking for, but couldn’t find because they didn’t fit into your “type”.
Myth #3: “You cannot choose who you will love.”
This is probably the biggest myth of them all. Love is an emotion, and like any emotion, we are in control. I can choose to be sad; I can choose to be happy; I can choose to be miserable; I can choose to be ecstatic – my emotional state is up to me. Granted, there are times when we let ourselves go and allow our emotions to control us, but if we assert ourselves, we can always gain control over our emotions. The same is true with love. I, for one, do not believe in “love at first sight” – it does not exist. “Infatuation at first sight”? Yes. “Lust at first sight”? Yes. But love takes time. Most people confuse “infatuation” or “lust” with “love”. And when you hear someone say (regarding their significant other), “It was love at first sight.”, more likely it was really “infatuation at first sight” that turned into love, over time. I’m not saying it takes a long time, but it does take time. And the amount of time it takes can vary. But I believe in order to “love” someone, you must get to know them. Don’t think “I could never love this person.”, because you are wrong – if you wanted to, you could; but if you choose not to, then you won’t.
Make no mistake: love is a choice and you can certainly choose to withhold it or give it. For your sake, I hope you will choose to give it.
posted by TubaMeister at
18:18
1 Comments:
Ever the wise man. Usually the wise GUY but certainly wise MAN, as well. ;o)
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