Ahoy, Matey!

Arrr! It be "International Talk Like a Pirate Day". So I says to meself, I says, "Arrr, this be a good day to update me Capt'n's Log on that there fancy world-wide web thingy." Sos heres be I.

Back at the lair, there be no communiques from the outside world. Curse them 'puters. Methinks the Marquis hast sabotaged the electronic pidgeons. Me mate "Mad John" is on it though. Says he, "Methinks it's the SCM." Says I, "Then run it through!" Says he, "Arrr, that not be the solution, Capt'n." Says I, "Arrr! Nay, but 'twould feel good." Says he, "Arrr!"

Avast, me hearties! Batton-down the hatches, as there be an evil wind blowin' today. Make for port, if-in ye be not berthed. 'Tis naught fit for man nor beast. And if-in ye cannot make port, remember to steer into the wind. Shiver me timbers, there be reports of funnel-clounds off of the port-stern! Steer clear, lest ye be sucked-down in the maelstrom that be formed.

Now, where be me treasure map? Searched high and low have I and nary a trace can be found. Methinks maybe that scally-wag done run-off with it. Arrr! When I lays me hook into him, he be wishin' he ne'er been born!

***

Arrr! The pidgeons be flyin' again! Now to get them communiques to me mates! We plunder the coast at dawn!